Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Well....here we are again.

I totally thought I found him.

And maybe I did.

But...it didn't work.  I am lonely and sad and missing him and just about ready to crawl under a rock and not come out for months. 

That lovely downward spiral of heartbreak.

I know this is not a "deep" blog.  It's mostly goofy things that I look for in a guy.  But today...I can't goof around about it.  Because this guy had so many things.  So many good things.

And we both messed it up.  I couldn't trust him.  And it turns out maybe I shouldn't have.  But apparently part of that is my own fault?  I don't know.  It was both of us.  I know that.

All I really know is that right now, it hurts to breathe.  There is a pain in my chest and in my gut that isn't going away.  He took a piece of me with him when he left.  When I asked him to go.

And the worst part is...I'm not ready to let go yet.  I think I'm holding my breath in hopes it can be fixed.

So...sorry for the lack of posts.  But I really thought I had no reason to keep making my list because he was hitting almost every single item on it.

I'm not ready to move on yet.  But maybe I'll be back soon.  In the meantime, I'll be soldiering on.

gives me more attention than he gives his computer?

Can I find a man who gives me more attention than he gives his computer?

I don't even feel like I should have to SAY this one.  But apparently I do.  There is a difference, gentlemen, between "spending time together" and "being in the same room doing completely separate things".  One involves looking at eachother and perhaps making conversation and focusing on the person you love.  The other involves...basically none of that. 

I'd like someone who can put away their toys when I'm around.  I'm not saying all the time.  Sometimes I just want to watch Dance Moms and you can sit there and facebook or google "ermahgerd" memes. 

(See how I combined them?  I'm so freaking clever.)

I just want someone who wants to be WITH me and spend time WITH me instead of ...not.  I really don't think I'm asking too much.  I mean, it's not like we don't have 10ish hours a day away from one another when we are both at our respective jobs, plus another 7-8 of sleep, so that leaves MAYBE 6 hours of time that we could spend with the person we are supposedly IN LOVE with. 

And don't forget meals, bathroom breaks, showers, errands, other people....they all take time too.  So let's make it like 3 hours per day maybe that we could focus on one another. 

THAT'S NOT A LOT OF TIME.  MAKE IT COUNT.

Just make it freaking count, alright?

Make it count.

will watch my TV shows with me without whining?

Can I find a man who will watch my TV shows with me without whining?

I'm a girl.  (if you hadn't guessed yet....well, gosh I hope maybe this is just your first blog post you've read because it's painfully obvious.)

I'm a girl and I watch all that obnoxious girly TV.  Some of my favorite shows are as follows:

Grey's Anatomy
Dance Moms
ANTM (if you have to look this abbreviation up...you're probably male)
Teen Mom
The Tudors
Downton Abbey
Oprah's Next Chapter

And while it's true, some straight men can totally appreciate Downton or the Tudors if they perhaps like history or the masculine war parts of the shows, these are generally watched more by women than men. 

Well, I want a dude who is comfortable enough with his masculinity to sit through these shows and not WHINE about it.  Or ask that we turn on ESPN.  In fact, what would be even better is if he ENJOYED THEM.

Now, I'm not saying that it must be all Grey's all the time.  Or that I will not share the TV when there is a Teen Mom marathon on.  I will totally watch your shows too!  And sports!  And news!  And whatever!  But let's make it fair.  I watch your show, you watch mine.  50/50.

And I'll do my best to like your crap if you'll do your best to like mine.  :)

likes working out but isn't obsessed with it?

Can I find a man who likes working out but isn't obsessed with it?

I want a dude who takes care of himself.  Who inspires me to take care of myself.  But also isn't going to judge me when I do this:

 

 

Or this:

 

I want a dude who looks a little something like this:

 

 

Or this:

 

Or this:



 

Hey there, Don...you sexy misogynist man, you....

Not like this:

He doesn't need to be pefect....just...not scary like Mr. Muscles up there.  And not y'know, completely unhealthy so that we need a crane to get you out of the house to go to the Chinese Buffet.

(so help me, if you ever try to take me to a Chinese Buffet......)



makes me a PB&J to take for lunch while I'm getting ready in the morning?

Can I find a man who makes me a PB&J to take for lunch while I'm getting ready in the morning?

Well, that seems super specific, doesn't it?  It doesn't have to be a PB&J - I'm just saying it can be simple.  A turkey sandwich.  The leftovers from the night before.  Whatever, if you'll surprise me by making me lunch while I'm in the shower, YOU WIN.

It's always about the little things.  Maybe I was running late, maybe you just knew it would take a little bit off my plate (ha! a pun! sort of!), maybe you just like making PB&J's.  Doesn't matter.  It's the thought that counts!  I'll say it again!  IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!

And if you sneak a cookie in there too...well, you've got me eating out of the palm of your hand.  (ha! another pun! i'm on a roll!  ....wait a sec...was that ANOTHER one?  i can't stop!)

Plus you know I'll think of you at lunchtime when I am remembering that I didn't have to make my own lunch this morning.

C'mon.  It's adorable.

How about those puns, though?  Seriously?

comes with me to doctors/vet appointments?

Can I find a man who comes with me to doctors/vet appointments?

(PS: today's post is brought to you by obnoxious clip art.)

Ok, I'm not talking everything here.  I don't need him at my yearly check-up....or my teeth cleaning.  But when it's important, I want a guy who is like "absolutely I will be at this appointment with you". 

Or...y'know, if he has nothing better to do and the dog is going to the vet....maybe he could just come along?  Be in the loop.  So I don't have to try and remember exactly what the doctor said.  And so I don't forget to ask any questions. 

 

Also - I feel like this is foreshadowing.  If he's willing to suck it up for this stuff, it probably means he'll come to my appointments when I'm preggo.  Or when the kids have to go to the doctor, he'll help me out.  Right?

Or at least it gives me hope that he would....

Point being....Be there.  Make an effort.  Be supportive.  Yadda yadda. 

Happy Chanukah to all and to all a good night!

takes my PMS in stride?

Can I find a man who takes my PMS in stride?

I mean, I know it's a pain.  I know I get melodramatic and cranky.  I know that I eat like a 250 pound man for 3 days and maybe it scares you a little.

It's a couple days a month, ok?  And later I'll have your babies.  Fair trade, I think.

And that's all I have to say about that.

charms the pants off my family?

Can I find a man who charms the pants off my family?

Not literally, of course.  That'd be nasty.  Seriously, why'd you go there?

Anyway, as I was saying....

(seriously...my worst nightmares...the circle of trust....)

I want a guy who can get my family to adore him ALMOST as much as I do!  Meeting the parents, the siblings, the extendeds....it's scary!  Not just for the guy...but for me too!  I want my family to love him because...well, it makes everything a lot easier if everyone gets along really well, doesn't it?

Then you know you can bring him to family events with no fear.  They'll want him around! 

There is such drama that can occur with the alternative....it may just be a deal breaker.  Family is so important to me that if we can't be around them because there's beef (Metaphorical beef, not actual beef.  I'm fine with beef.  I'm also fine with a lack of beef.  Whatever you prefer to put in your tummy.  I don't judge.), I don't see it working.

So I'd like a guy who can relate to my dad, can make friends with my brother, can impress my sister and can pass whatever test my mom discreetly throws at him. 

As well as make friends with my friends. 

And win over my dog.  That's a big one.  My dog better LOVE you. 

And you better LOVE MY DOG. 

And my family. 

But seriously, my dog.

I'm sorry....I couldn't resist.  Seriously?  This is hilarious.

Ok?  Ok, Thanks.

does not leave the sink a mess after he shaves?

Can I find a man who does not leave the sink a mess after he shaves??

 

 

 

 

ALL THOSE TINY HAIRS?! 

You're torturing me. 

I'm not even that much of a neat freak....but tiny hairs....near my toothbrush?  NOT OK.

That is all.  Thank you.

surprises me?

Can I find a man who surprises me?

I mean, all sorts of surprises.

Surprises me with his thoughts, his words, his actions. 

I really enjoy when a man says something I'm not expecting.  Or has an opinion or an idea I wouldn't have expected from him.  Or brings me flowers.  Or a pumpkin.  Or shows up at the office to take me to lunch.  ...you are getting the idea, right? 

If this blog is any indication, I know what I want and what I like.  And therefore, I think men have honestly been intimidated at the idea of trying to surprise me...for fear that I won't like it. 

To those men, I say this:  You're so wrong.  As I've said a dozen times before, it's the effort that counts.  And you missed out on totally sweeping me off my feet because of it.  So there.

Also - I hate making decisions as far as "dates" or whatever, so if a guy is like "oh I picked a restaurant and we're going and ta-da!  surprise!" and I didn't even have to think about it?  Awesome.