Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Well....here we are again.

I totally thought I found him.

And maybe I did.

But...it didn't work.  I am lonely and sad and missing him and just about ready to crawl under a rock and not come out for months. 

That lovely downward spiral of heartbreak.

I know this is not a "deep" blog.  It's mostly goofy things that I look for in a guy.  But today...I can't goof around about it.  Because this guy had so many things.  So many good things.

And we both messed it up.  I couldn't trust him.  And it turns out maybe I shouldn't have.  But apparently part of that is my own fault?  I don't know.  It was both of us.  I know that.

All I really know is that right now, it hurts to breathe.  There is a pain in my chest and in my gut that isn't going away.  He took a piece of me with him when he left.  When I asked him to go.

And the worst part is...I'm not ready to let go yet.  I think I'm holding my breath in hopes it can be fixed.

So...sorry for the lack of posts.  But I really thought I had no reason to keep making my list because he was hitting almost every single item on it.

I'm not ready to move on yet.  But maybe I'll be back soon.  In the meantime, I'll be soldiering on.

gives me more attention than he gives his computer?

Can I find a man who gives me more attention than he gives his computer?

I don't even feel like I should have to SAY this one.  But apparently I do.  There is a difference, gentlemen, between "spending time together" and "being in the same room doing completely separate things".  One involves looking at eachother and perhaps making conversation and focusing on the person you love.  The other involves...basically none of that. 

I'd like someone who can put away their toys when I'm around.  I'm not saying all the time.  Sometimes I just want to watch Dance Moms and you can sit there and facebook or google "ermahgerd" memes. 

(See how I combined them?  I'm so freaking clever.)

I just want someone who wants to be WITH me and spend time WITH me instead of ...not.  I really don't think I'm asking too much.  I mean, it's not like we don't have 10ish hours a day away from one another when we are both at our respective jobs, plus another 7-8 of sleep, so that leaves MAYBE 6 hours of time that we could spend with the person we are supposedly IN LOVE with. 

And don't forget meals, bathroom breaks, showers, errands, other people....they all take time too.  So let's make it like 3 hours per day maybe that we could focus on one another. 

THAT'S NOT A LOT OF TIME.  MAKE IT COUNT.

Just make it freaking count, alright?

Make it count.

will watch my TV shows with me without whining?

Can I find a man who will watch my TV shows with me without whining?

I'm a girl.  (if you hadn't guessed yet....well, gosh I hope maybe this is just your first blog post you've read because it's painfully obvious.)

I'm a girl and I watch all that obnoxious girly TV.  Some of my favorite shows are as follows:

Grey's Anatomy
Dance Moms
ANTM (if you have to look this abbreviation up...you're probably male)
Teen Mom
The Tudors
Downton Abbey
Oprah's Next Chapter

And while it's true, some straight men can totally appreciate Downton or the Tudors if they perhaps like history or the masculine war parts of the shows, these are generally watched more by women than men. 

Well, I want a dude who is comfortable enough with his masculinity to sit through these shows and not WHINE about it.  Or ask that we turn on ESPN.  In fact, what would be even better is if he ENJOYED THEM.

Now, I'm not saying that it must be all Grey's all the time.  Or that I will not share the TV when there is a Teen Mom marathon on.  I will totally watch your shows too!  And sports!  And news!  And whatever!  But let's make it fair.  I watch your show, you watch mine.  50/50.

And I'll do my best to like your crap if you'll do your best to like mine.  :)

likes working out but isn't obsessed with it?

Can I find a man who likes working out but isn't obsessed with it?

I want a dude who takes care of himself.  Who inspires me to take care of myself.  But also isn't going to judge me when I do this:

 

 

Or this:

 

I want a dude who looks a little something like this:

 

 

Or this:

 

Or this:



 

Hey there, Don...you sexy misogynist man, you....

Not like this:

He doesn't need to be pefect....just...not scary like Mr. Muscles up there.  And not y'know, completely unhealthy so that we need a crane to get you out of the house to go to the Chinese Buffet.

(so help me, if you ever try to take me to a Chinese Buffet......)